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As we attempt to wrap our heads around the awesome revelation that is Bionic Commando Rearmed, we find ourselves strapped to a demonic chair, a chair designed by our hedonistic overlords at Joystiq. Said chair occasionally moistens our eyeballs, the lids of which it conveniently stretches taught, keeping us alert. The chair’s purpose: to restrain us until the weekly roundup is complete. Thus we present you this collection of powerful and hard-hitting Xbox 360 news whilst pleading with our masters to loose us from this place, that we might again enjoy the comforts of an Xbox 360 and a scholarly game of Carcassonne.

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